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| {nursing cover} |
Is it possible Ian and I made it through a year of breastfeeding?
Yes, we did! And that feels like something worth celebrating.
I'm not really sure how it should be celebrated. So, I bought myself a couple new (non-nursing) bras, and typed up some things I've learned about nursing over the past twelve months--for nostalgia's sake and to share my perspective for anyone interested. Take it for what it is: one mom's (my) experience with breastfeeding.
10 things I learned about breastfeeding, in no particular order...
{1} BREASTFEEDING IS ALWAYS WORTH CONSIDERATION.
I mistakenly assumed breastfeeding wasn't an option when I was pregnant with Brylee. I would start fulltime work shortly after her delivery, I wasn't interested in pumping, and, from what I read, nipple confusion meant I must choose bottle or breast. I decided Brylee would be on formula right from birth, and nobody questioned my reasoning or provided further information. It wasn't until Ian was born and I had breastfed him for a couple weeks (about how long I was home with Brylee before returning to work), that I realized I could have (and should have) opted to breastfeed Brylee at least in the hospital. She missed out on many important immunity-building antibodies in those first few days, all because I would not be able to breastfeed long-term, and therefore decided I shouldn't breastfeed her ever. Yes, the transition to formula after getting started with breastfeeding may not have been an easy one, but it would have been worth it to give that sweet little newborn an extra edge against germs and bond with her in a special way. I didn't, and, even though I try not to, I regret that.
{2} DEMAND-FEEDING DOES NOT MEAN FEEDING AT EVERY CRY; NURSING MOMS DO NOT HAVE TO BE HUMAN PACIFIERS.
Every breastfeeding resource I read endorsed some sort of "feeding on demand" in order to keep baby properly fed and to keep up supply. Crying is a late sign of hunger, however "demand-feeding" seemed to say that if my baby was crying that meant I should nurse. And that's just what I did. I nursed when he gave the cues (smacking, rooting, sucking), and I nursed when he cried. I wish I would have looked at the clock a little more frequently, and evaluated what he actually needed by all of the signals. There were times when it had been an hour or less and I would feed him again because he was crying. However, if I would have paid a little more attention to all the cues (including the clock), I might have realized he wasn't hungry at all.
I did this breed of demand-feeding for about 10 months. And it exhausted me. Whenever I would ask an on-line mommy support group how to make it stop, the only feedback I got was an attempt at "encouragement" with a lighthearted comment that I should get used to being a human pacifier. I learned a little too late (but late is better than never) that breastfeeding and being a human pacifier do not have to go hand-in-hand. It is possible to demand-feed and keep up milk supply, while also refusing to allow baby to use nursing merely as pacifying.
{3} BREASTMILK PROVIDES AWESOME IMMUNITY.
This is a no-brainer and is included in just about all breastfeeding materials. We witnessed it firsthand. Brylee, as I mentioned, was always formula-fed. She also got sick frequently as a baby, with frequent colds and even multiple ear infections. Yes, germs from daycare (which she attended starting at 5-months-old) must have had something to do with this, but I believe she also missed out on very important antibodies by not breastfeeding. Alternatively, Ian (only breastfed) has never had more than a minor cold, surviving healthfully through all of us getting pink eye and even multiple days of a flu virus. He simply didn't catch any of those bugs, I believe largely because of the good things in breastmilk.
{4} NURSING IN PUBLIC CAN AND SHOULD INVOLVE TACT, CONSIDERATION OF OTHERS AND DISCRETION; DURING THE LEARNING CURVE, NURSING TANKS ARE INDISPENSABLE.
I am a very private person. So of course I was careful to use a nursing cover in public or around anyone other than my husband. I just wish more people used the same consideration. Because covering myself when breastfeeding isn't just about protecting my privacy, it's also about being considerate of others. If more people were careful to cover themselves when breastfeeding in public, I don't think it would be the big issue it has become.
Nursing tanks were essential during those first weeks of breastfeeding. They make public feedings so manageable, unsnapping easily (even under the nursing cover) with no awkward shirt lifting and keeping stomach covered. They look like a basic cami when worn with jackets, sweaters, or other cover-ups.
{5} POOP OF AN EXCLUSIVELY BREASTFED (EBF) BABY IS GROSS, BUT CLOTH DIAPER-FRIENDLY.
Most things I read describe poop from an exclusively breastfed (EBF) baby as "sweet smelling." In some ways, that may be true. But I find EBF poop absolutely disgusting! The smell of EBF poop makes me gag far worse than any "real" poop smell. However, it gets points for being completely water soluble and absolutely cloth diaper-friendly.
{6} BREASTFEEDING IS A 1 WOMAN SHOW, AND THAT WOMAN NEEDS SUPPORT AND UNDERSTANDING TO KEEP AT IT.
The one good thing I can say about bottle-feeding is that it involved my husband more and gave me a break. In fact, when I returned to work, Daniel most often took care of late night feedings. That all changed with breastfeeding. I was the only food source through the newborn stage, and eventually, when I wanted a break, I had to work pumping sessions in through the day in order to make it happen. Breastfeeding can be exhausting, and a woman needs support and understanding in order to keep with it. A caring husband that's willing to listen, an active breastfeeding support group (in real life or online), other mom friends or family that are breastfeeding or have breastfed, a babysitter or family member or friend willing to watch baby so you can get an hour "away," and breastfeeding resources (Web sites, books) that offer breastfeeding information conducive to your parenting style are all important aspects of support and understanding.
{7} OATMEAL IS A BREASTFEEDING MIRACLE! HYDRATION AND NOURISHMENT ARE ESSENTIAL, TOO.
I ate oatmeal every morning during the first few months of Ian's life--it's cheap and so healthy. I also had oversupply throughout that time, often drowning Ian through feedings causing him to spit up the excess. A friend mentioned my oatmeal-eating habit might be the reason for having such a healthy supply. I didn't really believe that was the cause, until later when I started eating cold cereal for breakfast and noticed my supply going down. Such an easy solution and so healthy for other reasons. Along these lines, lots of water and eating enough quality calories are also essential to maintaining a healthy milk supply.
{8} TIMING THE LENGTH OF BABY'S FEEDINGS IS OVERRATED.
Ian was a champion eater right from the get-go. At least, in my opinion. The nurses, however, wanted me to do "better." They wanted Ian to eat at least 15 minutes on the first breast, then for me to offer the other to see if he was still hungry. Ian had other plans. He ate maybe 5 minutes at every feeding only on one side. And a few times he even went four hours between feedings. Sure, I did the things they suggested to try and wake him up to eat more, but he was sleepy. And so was I. So I let him sleep. And I slept too. (The lactation consultant approved of this.) His habits didn't change. He never ate more than 5-10 minutes at a time and only in the last couple months of breastfeeding did I ever offer the second side. But it never concerned me. His growth was always on track, his output (wet and poopy diapers) were what they should be, and he didn't show signs of still being hungry between feedings. I value the nurses' experience and information; and I learned it's also important to follow instinct and as long as baby is healthy and happy, it's okay to not follow recommendation.
{9} DECIDING WHEN TO STOP BREASTFEEDING (OR ANY OTHER BREASTFEEDING DECISION) IS A PERSONAL CHOICE, AND NO CAREFULLY THOUGHT-OUT DECISION IS THE WRONG ONE.
Why attach guilt where it doesn't belong? The best thing I did while breastfeeding is to make educated decisions factoring in breastfeeding facts and what I know about my, my baby's, and my family's needs. I had three priorities: keeping baby nourished, providing the family's needs and taking care of myself so that I could accomplish those things.
{10} IT'S STILL OKAY TO TAKE CARE OF #1, EVEN (ESPECIALLY) AS A BREASTFEEDING MOM.
Somewhere between the late night feedings (that continue through the first twelve months if you don't do something to stop it) and the constant giving of our bodies to the nourishment and care of our babies, it's all too easy to get caught up in the priority of nourishing baby and forget about taking care of ourselves. An hour away while daddy spends time with baby, encouraging baby to learn how to self-sooth so everyone gets a little more sleep at night, a power nap while baby sleeps, a few minutes alone to journal or read--these are all important things to do weekly and even daily to keep rejuvenated and provide the best care for the family.
{There you have it, 10 things I learned from a year of breastfeeding. If you are breastfeeding or have in the past, what did you learn from breastfeeding that no one told you?}
